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Like a bull in a china shop

I ain’t no big car nut (but the reverse could apply), and I stopped watching Big C on G4 a long while ago. So, while I do know the difference between nitrous and citrus, I don’t really care enough to stay on top of the latest under the hood.

And then I see Redline. A movie full of misled product endorsements, bad acting, terrible screenplay and just a whole load of blah.

A few quickly-fading memories from the movie:

  • One can go from Los Angeles to Las Vegas in an hour and forty-five minutes, if one is driving the right kind of souped-up sports car, has night-vision googles, and turns off all exterior lights when one drives by a cop car.
Because y’know, there’s just one cop all along the way, who thinks that the “205″ flashing on the radar gun is a glitch because, there’s, like, nothing on the road.Nevermind the fact that, at that time of the night, any kind of car, doing that kind of speed on any kind of road, would probably have its engines and tires announce themselves loud enough to wake the sleepiest cow a mile away.
  • A nitrous release on any exotic sportscar / supercar makes it flip over, if that car is already at top speed.
Well, there’s always driver / pilot error, but I think this was the first of the many misled product endorsements in the movie. Air brakes on most exotics work VERY well, at any speed, and serve to reduce the speed and/or create enough downforce to do the exact opposite; i.e. serve towards keeping the car on the road.
  • Exotics crash without airbag deployment
Seriously?! Even the folks at Toyota would sue if an upturned Camry didn’t have its airbags billowing out.
  • It takes just $8,000 to “soup up” a Ford GT.
Slightly more than the “eight large” mentioned in the movie, don’t you think?
  • If you’re in a limo that backs out of a parking space near an illegal race, the cops won’t chase you
Uh, huh. Of course. Especially in Los Angeles, right?
Without modifications, this would be really, really hard to do.
The Bugatti Veyron topped that record a while ago. For a car movie, they should’ve really done their homework about such stuff.
  • When motorcycle cops have their bikes topple over, they run scared.
Oooh – I don’t even want to go near this one. Daniel Sadek should get a wider rearview mirror, though.
  • when a drug / counterfeiter / gang lord “loses everything”, he does NOT shoot the person responsible
‘Cause he’s such an upstanding citizen, of course
  • When a drug / counterfeiter / gang lord “loses everything”, he waits till he gets picked up by another drug /….lord, presumably to be led to a painful ending
‘Cause, again, he’s such such a stand-up guy
  • One can start a fight in any Las Vegas nightclub and not have ten really big bouncers pound you silly and throw you out on the pavement
I imagine an arm bigger than the average head would clamp against one’s neck and one would be lifted and tossed out like paper. Not that I speak from personal experience, of course.

The subject of the “fastest street-legal car in the world” is met with a lot of debate. All the Wikipedia has on the CCX is an “honorable mention” on its list of “automotive superlatives”, and that’s never a good thing.

It also says that the Koenigsegg CCX is an eight-cylinder, that the Ferrari Enzo runs twelve, and that the Bugatti Veyron pretty much blows away the competition. For those who are really interested, this is where the Veyron proved itself.

Even if one were to compare tech specs on both cars, the Veyron [PDF] outdoes the CCX. So there.

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